By Vera Cabanos
If you got it flaunt it, right? Wrong. When Xian Gaza decided to pay for a billboard-sized Hallmark card to be mounted on Morayta as a love confession to Erich Gonzales, the former expressing his desire to go on a (v innocent) coffee date with the actress, his gesture was met with mixed reactions. Some found it romantic, while others found it downright creepy (like us). Some were endeared and others were just plain disgusted (also like us).
One can only imagine the incredible amount of pressure put on romantic TV or movie writers for their story to be relevant. Love confessions, apparently, have to be grand and gimmick-y, but that doesn’t mean they’re right or romantic, just like Monday’s trending topic.
So, we made list of some of the oddest proposals in TV and movie history. Check it. *Xian Gaza voice* Nyeammmmmmm.
Mark and Juliet from Love, Actually
Ah, this iconic scene. You’d think your best friend’s actual wife is off-limits, but nah, Mark from Love, Actually doesn’t really give a shit. I mean, it is the Yuletide season, right? Everyone’s festive and forgiving. Go ahead and profess your undying love for said best friend’s wife after you’ve had a couple of drinks on Christmas day. So that people won’t think you’re a total asshole, do it via quirky placards and tell her it’s done without hope or agenda, then walk away dramatically. Boom.
Nick and Amy Dunne from Gone Girl
Amazing fucking Amy is getting fucking married. Amazing, fictional Amy has always been one step ahead of the real Amy. Isn’t it time we fixed that? Her lover of two years, Nick Dunne, approaches her on a “strictly journalistic capacity” and proposes to her while she is getting interviewed–highly publicized and perfect for a narcissist and a sociopath. We all know what happens to them in the end.
Andrew Paxton and Margaret Tate from The Proposal
More a business deal than a marriage proposal, Margaret Tate, a Canadian boss, proposes to Andrew Paxton, her American assistant, to keep her from her from getting deported. He agrees on the condition that he be promoted.
Tony Montana and Elvira Hancock from Scarface
Okay, here’s the story. You’re my boss’ girl but… I like you. I like you the first time I laid eyes on you. I say, ‘She’s a tiger. She belong to me.’ Anyway, I want you to marry me. I want you to be the mother of my children. Whaddaya say?
Tony Montana is Frank Lopez’s top drug dealer and is looking to overthrow his lord and wed his mistress. When Elvira hints that Frank seems to be the only thing getting in her way, Tony sets out to kill him. Murder = really romantic, apparently.
Humbert Humbert and Charlotte Haze from Lolita
Our man in question is a middle-aged English literature professor who, having previously been admitted to a psychiatric ward for his pedophilic tendencies, moves to America and proposes marriage to Charlotte Haze, his landlady, so he can get his way with her young daughter. Pro tip for proposing to your 12-year-old dream girl: don’t.
Barney Stinson and Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother
Choreograph and calculate every move for years on end to con and win over your dream woman. Best plan ever. Hope she says yes, despite you being a total creep.