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7 weird dating sims that’ll assure you being single is fine

Single life makes anyone put Mitski’s “Nobody” on blast.

Apart from jamming to sad indie tracks or the “lasing na tita sa karaoke” playlist, what can make us feel better about single life? Our suggestion doesn’t involve downloading Tinder or Bumble or Grindr. Misquoting “Parks and Recreation”’s Ben Wyatt, “it’s all about the dating sim.”

Dating sims are romance-driven, choose-your-own-adventure games where players must establish friendships with characters and eventually explore a relationship with them. Its origins came from Japan (obvi) back in 1992 and weebs have been hooked ever since. 

Amazing dating sims exist. But why go for groundbreaking ones when we can get weird with it? Why date your dream crush from high school when you can try your luck charming a printer? No, we said that last statement right.

To make everyone feel better about being single, here are some weird dating sims y’all can try. Fair reminder: Romantic relationships don’t make us a complete person. These dating sims are a reminder of that. 

Hatoful Boyfriend

 

It’s a typical dating sim—except with pigeons. The player is the only human attending an exclusive school… for pigeons. In this game, a player must try to avoid outcast tendencies and fit in with the pigeons in school. Dating one of these birds will help them achieve that goal. No, we have no idea why this game was made.

Available for Android and Steam

Love! Brother-kun

No, this dating sim isn’t an incest fodder (thank God). The brother in this game isn’t human, too. It’s a Brother printer—the brand. Our objective is to date a reliable printer who’s favorite ink is magenta and likes playing soccer. Well, we hope players have one of those interests to win this printer’s heart. 

This flash game is available online

Speed Dating For Ghosts

Here’s a solid one for our single goth friends out there. It has everything: romance, comedy and heartbreak. This game is all about finding closure and love in the spirit realm. Feel free to date dozens of ghosts from different walks of afterlife. Fair warning: Some of them are quite creepy. 

Available on Nintendo Switch and Steam

Purrfect Date

Having cats for pets often stereotypes owners as someone who’s forever alone. This dating sim says fuck that shit. Here, a player is transported to Cat Island to romance friendly felines. Another goal is to uncover Professor Pawpur’s secrets. So yeah, have fun with this one cat lovers. 

Available on Steam

Death Match Love Comedy

 

Confessing to a crush is a journey and a half. In this game, they raise the stakes by making the player explode every time they admit their feelings to a potential partner. Not metaphorically explode—we’re talking spontaneous combustion. It all ends with the player choosing from different girls, making it harder for them not to explode. 

Available on Nintendo Switch and Steam

Aka No Prince

This dating sim… has a lot of layers. And that’s us downplaying it. In this game, you get to raise a glob of sentient dirt mixed with skin cells until they turn into a cat. This cat will eventually turn into a cute guy you can date. It’s… well… wow. Wow. 

Available on Android

Love! Sushi Rangers

Sushi lovers, this is the dating sim of our dreams or nightmares. The player in this game is the daughter of a world-renowned sushi chef. One night, she wakes up with six young handsome men who seem oddly familiar since they were named after classic sushi toppings. Feel free to fall in love with humanized versions of tuna, shrimp, roe and other characters from a sushi menu. 

Available on Android and Apple devices

Read more:
We ranked 7 video games, from WTF to existential dread
KFC wants you to date young Colonel Sanders in their new dating simulator
We Played the Japanese Horse Dating Game and It Was a Ride

Still from Hatoful Boyfriend

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Rogin Losa
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