Before you throw hands, listen: This isn’t a list of stuff to send your former flame as a petty, vengeful reminder that you still exist (and even have them pay via cash-on-delivery, yikes). This one’s for the folk in this rare situation: You are genuinely and wholesomely friends with your ex.
Not everyone is guaranteed this chance, but such relationships do exist. You’ve peacefully parted ways, probably reconciled some time, and discovered that you’d actually be cool homies if romance isn’t in the cards. You’d even thought of buying the ex a gift, that’s why you clicked on this story.
Zany purchases? OG essentials? If you think your former SO still deserves love in any form, here’s a couple of non-sketchy, malice-proof items to ship their way.
Scented candles (not with your scent, though)
Leaving traces of your scent as a love language sounds weird, but it happens. After all, smelling your favorite person relieves stress. Remember when they once left their sweater with you to temporarily spar with LDR? You can repay the comfort now—but through candles, OFC. Amoy Ano’s peculiar brainchild, the Jowa candle, might be the fresh whiff they need.
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A book fresh off a blind date
Why am I pitching this? One, it’s a way to help your ex end their tsundoku era. Second, duh, books. Third, you might just do them a favor: Finding them an actual potential SO in the process. That would be a meet-cute that’s, uh, one for the books. Right? (On that note, you can join book blind dates in Facebook groups like Second Hand Books Philippines.)
Definitely not as sweet and sentimental as a shirt or necklace. But TBH, they’re more likely to live longer in their household—and for good reason. A waffle maker? A cute ass plate? How about a chopping board? Take this as a gift for your ex-flame’s family, too, in case they treated you well.
A bouquet of essentials (‘cause you get their Adulthood Struggles™)
Sure, both of you once fought. But the biggest enemy out there is adulthood. At the end of the day, you’re in the same battle of trying not to have backaches and surviving every Zoom meeting. Since bouquets of chocolates or flowers scream “I want you back,” here’s a safe choice: a bouquet of essentials courtesy of Valdez Flowershop. You may not be sending them reasons to believe in love, but at least you’re giving them life.
Paid membership—to an astrology app, that is
Star-crossed lovers sending astrological guidance? We’d love to see it. Just because you weren’t a match made in the compatibility chart doesn’t mean it’s over for you both and the stars. Make peace with each other’s signs again, just head to these apps and take your pick.
Alexa play “Irreplaceable” by Beyonce, here’s a commissioned portrait of yourself
Since you’re forever part of their life, why not immortalize it further? Local artists like Awkwardbutable are open for campy and colorful portrait commissions, so why not flex that talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before existence?
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Art by Yel Sayo