The news most pop culture followers have been waiting for has finally come true: celebrity couple Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston have finally broken up. We know this can be a trying time for all of us, as it could become too much to deal with, so in light of this development we’ve put together a really quick guide for venting your emotions.
- “Figured.” — The safest expression—neither too happy nor too sad, but silently, perhaps realistically pessimistic about the viability of the whole endeavor. No one will judge you too much with this.
- “Finally!” — If you took the over on a three months over/under, you’re allowed to express joy in winning the bet. Or if you’re a Tom Hiddleston fangirl.
- “HAH! I KNEW IT WASN’T GONNA LAST!” — A more extreme version of the first expression, only use this if you’re willing to sound too invested in an issue that doesn’t have much bearing in your personal life. The best recourse is to acknowledge it with a quick, solemn nod, and move right along.
- “WHAT? NO!!!” — There’s a slight possibility that the entire thing was actually sincere (it’s hard to disbelieve someone as seemingly genuine as Tom Hiddleston) but there were better odds that it was just some stunt. Or, at the very least, a clear rebound fling. If you believed that it was something more, good on you, but you’re due for a lesson about the real world.
- New song/album joke — There’s nothing wrong about this per se, but the problem with it is everyone thinks they’re being clever with this because they assume they’re the first/only person to take a shot. Yeah, Taylor’s clearly coming out with a new song that may or may not be about an existing person, who may or may not be Tom Hiddleston. Or a “Get Lucky” cover.
Photo from Vanity Fair