*For privacy purposes, two of our interviewees are addressed through a pseudonym to keep their identities safe.
“To the girls that are doing dating apps, please don’t na,” a traumatized PUA Victim under the name Sandra cried out during our phone interview. “Doon ko lang na-realize that the real world is not safe for women.” To us, she’s a victim of female objectification reliving a horrible experience from a misogynistic organization. But to the men of PUA Academy, she’s a mere pawn of one of their games. A “lay,” in their terms. And she’s not the only one.
The story of Sandra is one among many nightmares that the victims of PUA Academy cause. She downloaded Tinder due to her friends urging her to get back to the dating game. Being single for six years, she didn’t see any harm on giving it a shot.
“The gender binary even ensures that men will be rewarded for sexual prowess, but women will be condemned for it.”— Cate
What started out as an innocent chat on the dating app blew up to a full-on courtship on one faithful night, regardless being reluctant on meeting up with him the first place. “In fairness to King, presko na agad siya when I first met him. Ang pagka-introduce niya sa akin life coach siya. I didn’t know na PUA Academy member siya.”
This dating company victimized Sandra through a PUA Academy life coach she’s got to know as King. King is Sandra’s ex-boyfriend who she had a relationship for one year through Tinder. It went awry when she discovered that King cheated on her with multiple women, including an oblivious minor who didn’t know what she was a part of.
There are a fixed number of physical steps from meeting a girl to Her saying "YES!, I love you" 💯💯💯. You need to know what these steps are and how to move smoothly from one to the next. This is the process of kino escalation, where kino means touch 🔥. Kino escalation is done in steps, slowly over time, with the goal of making the girl progressively more comfortable with your touch and proximity.As the man, it is your job to initiate and escalate the physical contact. You cannot rely on the girl to take these steps. Most girls do not dare ❌ ❌. Furthermore, if you do not escalate the girl may place you in the friend zone and assume you are only interested in friendship. Trying to suddenly go for a kiss will then seem inappropriate. You instead want the kiss to be a natural part of the escalation 😁.Traditionally, men are expected to take the risks and lead the way through the entire series of physical steps towards sex. This gives the girl the power to reject him at any step on the way. Although you must be the one who takes the steps, you do not have to take the risks. If you understand how to move smoothly from one step to the next you can avoid these issues altogether.Here are the examples of Kino Escalation:🔥🔥🔥THE LIGHT KINOs ✅ Greeting – When you are introduced to a girl that is a good opportunity to start breaking down the physical barrier. Rather than going for a regular handshake, introduce yourself in a way that immediately sets you apart and makes her remember you. For example, by giving her the rock or some other special greeting that you have made up.✅ Accidental arm touch – While talking to her you can lightly brush against her arm.✅ Emphasis – You can touch her arm with the back of your hand to emphasize a point in the conversation.Shoulder touch – Briefly touch her shoulder while speaking, as if pulling her in to hear you better.✅ Poking – Lightly tap her arm or shoulder to reclaim her attention if it temporarily wanders.✅Patting – When the girl says something even remotely uncool, you can pat her on the shoulder and shake your head.✅ Palm reading – Put out your hand with the palm up and tell the girl to give you her hand. When she gives it, study her palm intently and gently trace the lines in her palm with your finger. Then, give her a look as if you now have her figured out and let go of her hand. When she asks what you saw, make something up that leads the interaction forward♥️ .✅ Short handholding – Another cold reading routine you can use when you have her hand is to place two fingers on her wrist as if checking her pulse. Then say, “Just as I thought, you’re attracted to me. The heart never lies.” as you give her hand back.✅ Thumb-wrestling – This is a great game to use when challenging the girl to do something. You always want to win.✅ High five – Can be used for instance to highlight a commonality you share.THE MODERATE KINOs 🔥🔥🔥After she is comfortable with light kino you progress to mid kino. This kino is still playful, but a bit more intimate and overt ♥️ . ✅ Tickling – Start tickling her and get into a tickle fight. Any physical play like this is great for building comfort.✅ Arm-in-arming – As you are walking you can lock arm in arm with her to escort her🕺🕺.✅ Hugging – Can be used for instance to reward her when she has done something good.✅ Hand on her leg – Put your hand on her knee. Then, when she expects that is all you will do you squeeze her knee, going from sensual to playful in an instant.✅ Hand on your leg – Take her hand and place it on your leg.✅ Dancing – If you have a dance floor you can take advantage of that to get some serious kino going. Ask her, “You know how to dance?” When she says <Yes!> say “Let’s go” as you take her hand and lead her to the dance floor.✅ Hand play – Let your fingers play with her hand. Keep in mind that as with most kino escalation this is just subtext. Your conversation should not reflect what you are doing.✅ Soft touch – Run your fingertips slowly over the backside of her hand, her inner arm or neck. This touch can feel really good.✅ Caressing back – Put your hand on her back and start caressing her. Then, when she expects you to be sensual you go back to being playful by tickling her or snapping her bra.✅ Stomach touch – While you talk about fitness you can give her a compliment on her flat stomach as you slide your hand over it. When you do this you can get a sense for whether she would be comfortable with a longer touch around that area, such as having your hand around her waist.Before doing this you should know how to do the Kino Routine steps : (Credits to Mystery & PuaSchool) 🔥 ✅. There are three steps in a kino escalation routine.♥️♥️1. Perform the kino step.2. Sense how comfortable she is with it.3. Release the kino.. Kino escalation is probably the single most important aspect of the art of success with women. It is also one of the biggest sticking points a man trip over 🔥. Touching a woman sends powerful signals. It says that you’re confident and comfortable with yourself. It says that you’re not worried about scaring her off. It says that physicality is a natural and normal part of your life. All that adds up to another benefit: it turns women on. Women like being touched calmly, confidently, by men.If you don’t smoothly and continually escalate kino, you will find yourself in the friend zone even with women who start out highly attracted to you🎉🎉🎉 .I hope to use this technique to find your perfect match and have a happy relationship. ♥️ ♥️ ♥️ To Learn more, Join us in our VIP Lounge https://www.facebook.com/groups/puaacademyforum/. See you on our Upcoming SUPERCAMP on October 28, 2018.✅✅✅If you're interested just let us know and we'll sign up for you.Otherwise, you can SIGN UP HERE ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️ LINK: tinyurl.com/puaacademyform. Good luck and See you in the field. Smooth www.puaacademy.co
Posted by Smooth – Relationship Expert & Dating Coach on Monday, October 15, 2018
King is a poster boy of this predatory organization. Looking into their official Facebook page, his face is everywhere alongside Smooth, the head of their organization. These coaches work under a pseudonym to promote “tips and tactics” on making women turn their no to a yes. A dating tip video from Smooth has this preview screencap: “If she says no instead, [then] build more comfort and trust. Just follow these techniques.” That line alone should urge anyone to grab a phone and call the police.
“There are PUA members who genuinely seek to find themselves, and find no other safe space to do it. They are then indoctrinated into a world where women are tools, sex is currency, and sleeping with as many women as possible is the pinnacle of achievement, ” Twitter user and feminist under the name Cate (@islandwomanrise) enlightened us.
Going back to Sandra’s statement, the humiliation and fear that she had gone through under the hands of a PUA Academy member were unfathomable. We’ve discussed this group of “pick up artists” under the guise of a “dating” company in the past. They claim to help men increase their confidence and improve their skills on talking to women through boot camps and seminar, but they are more sinister than that.
“Wala namang mali sa pag-lift ng confidence ng mga lalaki. Let’s face it, aminin man natin o hindi, maraming lalaking ‘di makaharap sa babae,” Sandra gave them a slim benefit of a doubt. “Pero at what price? Para pag-piyestahan nila yung mga babae?”
Sandra moves around the Philippines a lot, which brought her to the decision to call it quits since she didn’t see a point with continuing this courtship. King became more persistent with keeping her at bay, even as far as declaring her to be his girlfriend, even though she hasn’t agreed to anything. This is part of PUA Academy members’ tactics when they’re eyeing their “game.”
Don’t believe for one second that PUA Academy is a life coaching or dating company. From now on, we’re going to call them what they truly are, scammers and abusers. The victims’ similar experiences serve as ironclad proofs. Cate is one of the vocal women on Twitter who shared the accounts of these women in a thread.
All of these women came from different places across the nations. Their stories share a commonality when it comes to the members’ approach toward them, which is how these men approached them for their personal gain.
Several girls have been stalked by PUA Academy members in malls this week. (THREAD) I am so angry and frustrated that no one is paying attention!!! What else needs to happen before someone takes action?! 😤 @SMmalls @AyalaMalls pic.twitter.com/bjsrfuoeT0
— Millennial Mangkukulam (@islandwomanrise) October 21, 2018
“PUA Academy thrives in this secrecy, in fake names on dating apps, in cameras hidden in motels, in silence we maintain about sex and sexuality. This is where they can take advantage of vulnerable women and girls, knowing that they are very unlikely to ever speak about their experiences,” she continued.
“For who loses when a ‘scandal’ breaks out? The gender binary even ensures that men will be rewarded for sexual prowess, but women will be condemned for it. So while PUA Academy members may present their sexual exploits are purely consensual, the way they can capitalize on these acts (by sharing their “lays” with each other and, in fact, turning it into a business) will always be at the expense of the women and girls involved.”
PUA Academy is not a life coaching or dating company. From now on, we’re going to call them what they truly are, scammers and abusers.
Multiple women have spoken up on social media and even went as far as seeking legal counsel to achieve some form of justice. But to no avail, they are silenced as soon as PUA Academy members realized that they’re victims are planning to expose them. Their threat? Leaking incriminating videos, raping the victims, and threatening their lives.
Paula is another woman who went out with a PUA coach named Philip. Like Sandra, she was unaware that her ex-boyfriend was a PUA Academy coach. She discovered the truth when she Googled his name. “After a day, nag-rant ako sa social media at sinabi ko lahat ng tungkol sa ex ko at sa PUA Academy, I got 53 shares from Facebook kaya may ibang tao daw na nag message kay Philip. Tumawag siya sa akin at sinabing: ‘Pag may nangyari sa aking masama at nagpakamatay ako, ikaw ang may kasalanan. Galit na galit si Smooth. Maayos turing namin sayo…'” she recalled the incident. “Dahil sa takot, dinelete ko lahat at hindi na ako nagsalita.”
This is really disappointing..
Now tell me, mali bang ipaglaban ko ang babae? pic.twitter.com/AV9muLFzwG
— Paula-PuaAcademyVictim (@PaulaValbuenaaa) March 19, 2018
After a few months, she decided to share a PUA Academy video called “How to collect numbers in two hours” with a caption that read: “BAKIT NIYO ATA KINOKOLEKTA ANG NUMBER NG MGA BABAE?” Eventually, a concerned citizen with a dummy account approached her through Facebook. It contained screenshots of her post posted in the PUA private forum. The caption in the forum read “This stupid girl on my friend list is exploiting our art. What should we do?”
“Sinend sa akin ang comment section at nabasa ko doon na ‘Kill her. Literally’ at ‘She wants to be raped’ at nagreply si Philip ng ‘You sure, bro?’ Rarapin daw ako at papatayin. Suddenly, biglang may dummy account na nagsend sa akin na meron sa PUA Academy Forum na nakahubad na babae, naka-dog style, at may kahalikan na lalaki at nakilala lang sa Tinder,” she explained.
“Halata sa picture na hindi alam ng babae kaya nag-panic ako at nagpost ako na hinahanap ko ang babae at in-explain ko kung paano ang techniques ng PUA Academy.”
There are too many victims by this organization that thrives of the pleasure of objectifying women and ruining their lives. No one can fault them for resorting to social media. Like Paula, she went to the NBI Cybercrime unit to seek justice, but the case didn’t move forward. What’s worst is this is not the first attempt on dismantling the scathing proof of patriarchy’s power in our society.
Whatever fragile male ego and excuse for their misogynistic behavior don’t pay the price for these women’s traumas.
“I know alam nila ‘yung issues na ‘to since nagsalita ako. CHR and Gabriela already know [about] these [issues]. But [hanggang] ngayon ito [pa rin], wala pa ‘ring heads up from authorities and sobrang toxic ng PUA Academy members sa bars, malls, and schools,” she lamented.
Women like Paula are commendable for fighting the big fight regardless of adversities along the way. And she’s not alone in this fight for women’s rights. Cate, Paula, and Sandra continue to persist on exposing these misogynistic men through their #FemalesDeserveBetter campaign. Through this campaign, they want the unsung voices of PUA victims to be heard and for other people to be aware that they are everywhere and they will keep doing what they’re doing unless we stop them.
FILIPINAS DESERVE BETTER. Join the campaign to shut down PUA Academy today! Details in thread. DMs are open for anonymous testimonials, and other campaign ideas. Tweet and retweet! We cannot let businesses like this exist! pic.twitter.com/SEaFf4XgTn
— Millennial Mangkukulam (@islandwomanrise) September 2, 2018
“I do not believe that PUA Academy has a place in the gender-equal society we strive to build. Senator Risa Hontiveros filed SB 1326 or the Safe Streets and Public Spaces Act of 2017, which will prohibit and penalize gender-based harassment in public spaces such as the persistent request for name and contact details,” Cate pointed out. “I think that will go a long way in holding PUA Academy members accountable for their actions. And as always, education and vigilance are key. ”
This is the second time this year that these misogynistic men are exposed to the public as threats to people’s safeties. They prey on everyone that they can with emotional manipulation. Yet, no one is taking them down. Who are to keep these women safe? Authorities are aware, but the system keeps failing these victims of sheer misogyny as they try to seek justice.
Enough women have suffered from their manipulation. Whatever fragile male ego and excuse for their misogynistic behavior don’t pay the price for these women’s traumas. It’s time to stop depriving these women of the justice they deserve.
Art by Renz Mart Reyes